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i wrought this song but i dont know if its good so can u tell me your oppinion and maybe tell me what i should
IN THE EYES
(verse 1)
a girl sits by her window
starin at the rain
wonderin if love will visit her
wonderin if love will cure the pain
what we did
is that ll right
i will never know
why you ran out that night
a few years later
i think of this
i stand in my room
do you love me the way i do
(chorus)
is love real
or is it fantasy
all i want to see
is what my love means
is it pure
is it crystall
is it right
in the eyes (of you)
(verse 2)
why is this
still hear
you have benn gone
for years
i do miss you in the sun
but my love
is not in light
(chorus)
I think that it sounds really good.
What I recomend though is adding a few more verses.
That way its like a story,
with a begining, climax/middle, and an end.
It seems like you went form the start to the finish taking a few short cuts.
Myabe you should add one or two more vereses in between.
I hope that you didnt take any of my critisism as hateful.
If you do desisde to change anything,
I would love for you to send me an email with the finished work.
<3
--.cuteface.--
Antique English Gothic style (1920s) Wrought Iron 8 light
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